Behind the Red Dot: Five Lessons Learned from Speaking at TEDx

I speak for a living. Between training programs, keynotes at conferences, and sales kickoffs, getting up in front of an audience is something I’m extremely familiar with and very comfortable doing.

But delivering a TEDx talk? That was a whole other beast!

TEDx isn’t just about speaking. It’s about distilling a single idea into the most powerful narrative possible, and doing it in a way that looks effortless.

In many ways, the experience reminded me of what elite athletes must feel when they step into the arena. All the world sees is the 30 seconds or two minutes of performance. What they don’t see is the thousands of hours of preparation, fine-tuning, and practice behind the scenes.

That’s exactly what this TEDx journey felt like for me. And along the way, I learned five powerful lessons not just about speaking, but about growth, leadership, and life.

 

1. Doing Hard Things is the Point

As a former research scientist, startup guy, founder, and author, I seem to be drawn to doing hard things. And the advice I give my kids all the time: the only way we grow is by stepping outside our comfort zone. Cliché? Maybe. But it’s also true.

Giving a TEDx talk was hard in a way I wasn’t used to. Unlike most of my talks, which I deliver in a conversational and adaptive way, unafraid of a temporary pause and word substitution, my TEDx talk needed to be memorized word-for-word! That’s to ensure the refined narrative is delivered with consistent timing but also to ensure the talk complies with TEDx standards. The trick was to make it feel completely natural, as though I was speaking off the cuff.

It felt almost like acting. Great actors don’t just read lines—they embody them, making the audience believe every word was born in the moment. But that kind of authenticity doesn’t come easy.

And that’s the point. Hard things are worth doing because they force us to grow. They sharpen us. They separate the people who settle for “good enough” from those who put in the work to create something remarkable.

Life rewards those willing to do the hard things.

2. Check Your Ego at the Door

Most of the time, my clients rely on me to craft a killer presentation for their events with one or two check-ins along the way to ensure the messaging is aligned. But TEDx is different. The event organizers were very involved in the process and gave a lot of feedback. On the script. On delivery. On tone. On everything.

At first, you might think: Wait a second, I’m a professional speaker. Why would I need feedback?

But the purpose of a TEDx talk isn’t to showcase your brilliance. The idea is the star. And the mission is to share that idea in the most impactful way possible for the audience. That means being open, truly open, to input.

The organizers even told me that some speakers resist feedback and, as a result, their talks suffer (or get sidelined altogether). That stuck with me. Because no matter how experienced you are, an outside perspective always makes you better.

In sales. In leadership. In life.

When you put your ego aside, you unlock growth.

 

3. Practice, Practice, Practice Until It Looks Easy

If something looks effortless, it’s because someone put hours, sometimes hundreds or thousands of hours, into making it that way. Granted, before a big keynote or training session, I always practice over and over to make sure the performance is top-notch.

But TEDx demanded even more of me.

I practiced my talk literally hundreds of times. I’d go on “memorization walks” around my neighborhood, learning a few lines at a time and repeating them over and over. Intonation, hand motions, pauses, everything.

I’d challenge myself throughout the run-up to the event to start, stop, and continue the talk at random points in the script to make sure I knew it cold.

And the day before the event, before and after the rehearsal at the auditorium, I wore out the carpet in my hotel hallway, pacing up and down late into the night, running my talk again and again.

Even people with natural talent, whether in sports, music, or speaking, aren’t exempt from practice. Elite athletes practice to shave milliseconds off their time. Musicians rehearse for years to play a single concerto flawlessly.

If you want to do something powerful, something meaningful, you can’t wing it. You have to practice until it looks easy.

 

4. It’s Not Just What You Say, It’s How You Say It

Words matter, but delivery is everything.

When it comes to communication, whether it’s a TEDx talk, a sales pitch, or a team meeting, the emotion, conviction, and energy you bring to your message often outweigh the words themselves.

It’s the pauses that create suspense.
It’s the eye contact that builds trust.
It’s the hand gestures, tone shifts, and emotional resonance that make your audience believe what you’re saying.

Too often, especially in business (and sales in particular), we focus exclusively on the “what.” The slides. The value proposition. The discovery questions. The script. But if you don’t master the “how”, the message falls flat.

Your talk, your message, is more than just your words.

 

5. Gratitude Is the Ultimate Win

The final lesson might be the most important: gratitude.

Preparing for a TEDx talk takes months of work. For athletes competing on the world stage, it takes years. And the truth is, so many things can go wrong along the way. Illness, travel disruptions, family emergencies. Just making it to “game day” with the chance to perform is something to be grateful for.

As a cancer survivor, I know firsthand that life can throw unexpected curveballs. So standing on that stage, healthy, prepared, and supported, I felt like I already won.

And then, as I looked out into the audience and saw my wife and three daughters smiling back at me, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude. No joke, my family’s smiles were some of the proudest and most aggressive I’ve ever seen. As if they were silently screaming, “You’re doing it! You’re doing it!” But the truth is, they’d supported me throughout the journey, traveled with me to Philadelphia, and now got to share in that moment. For my kids, watching me prepare, practice, and finally deliver the talk wasn’t just about the speech. It’s walking the talk of what it means to do hard things.

Sharing that was the ultimate gift.

 

Bringing It All Together

Giving a TEDx talk was one of the hardest and most rewarding experiences of my life. And the lessons I took away extend far beyond a single stage or talk. They’re lessons about how we grow, how we connect, and how we live.
And if there’s one thing I hope you take away from my experience, it’s this: whatever your “TEDx stage” looks like in life, whether it’s a presentation, a big project, or a personal challenge, lean into it fully.

Do the hard thing. Seek feedback. Practice relentlessly. Speak with conviction. And above all, be grateful you get the chance to do it.

Because it’s in these fleeting moment where real growth and impact happens.

 

Update: I’m excited to share that the talk was selected as a TEDx Editor’s Pick and officially released on Black Friday — no coincidence there! Check it out: